My life wasn't always a mess. My dad wasn't always a drunk and my mom wasn't always super-strict. I can't remember much of when it wasn't but I know that before my dad lost his job when I was six, he was a good man and my mom loved him very much. I do remember a birthday, either my fourth or fifth, where we were all happy together. I remember the cake, and how brightly the candles glowed with the lights out. I remember blowing them out and wishing to always be so happy. I didn't get me wish, but I still have this memory.