Ruining a good thing

Ryan and I dated for several months, and things were getting better and better. So good, in fact, that I started to get nervous. I don't know why; maybe because I don't trust when things are going good. One day we were over at his house to watch movies and cuddle. At one point he turned off the movie, got down on one knee, and took out a ring. Someone was actually proposing to me! But rather than get happy, which I should have, suddenly a demon came out of me and I told him he was too wimpy and I couldn't ever date someone like him. He didn't make enough money, and I liked someone a little more "manly-man." He sobbed as I gathered my things and left. I've hated myself ever since, especially when dating the losers that normally come my way.