It was our one year anniversary. Somewhere inside myself I remember thinking "yeah, we actually made it". I knew that he never thought that way and so I kept it to myself as I usually did. We sat down on the couch with our glasses of champagne held next to each other as he made a beautiful toast to us. We dug into our cake and he pressed the remote as we got ready to watch our wedding video-it was a perfect tradition for a one year anniversary. I was so happy, so content, but there were still those voices inside of me telling me to run every once in awhile. I usually ignored them but sometimes they got really loud. I snuggled in next to him and prepared to watch that beautiful night a year ago play out in front of us.