Losing my virginity

Somehow I allowed the situation with a boy, Nate, to go farther than I meant it to. Nate had a thing for me, and though I was finding myself drawn more to girls, I thought it was unnatural at the time so I made myself have a boyfriend, thinking it could set me right. I went over to Nate's house after school when his folks weren't home, and we started making out on the couch. He told me he was in love with me and wanted to show me how much I meant to him, so we went into his bedroom and he pulled out a condom. For some reason, I consented. All throughout the experience I was just lying there, hoping it would end soon. I look back on that now and shudder, but it was an important lesson to me at the time.