Learning I was a bastard

It was recess at school, and I was in the playground running around with other kids. One of them asked inquisitively if I knew I was a bastard. When I said "no," the she said "Well you are." I didn't know what it meant but thought it was a compliment. So when we returned to class, I raised my hand, stood up, and proudly announced that I was a bastard. The kids all laughed while the teacher dragged me down to the principal's office.