I Will Not Go Quietly

It's been six years since I entered rehab. I relapsed a few more times, got on the horse a few more times, and in the end I became a whole person. For one year in my life things started to look up. I had a job, my own place. I felt like a real person again but then my body started to get weaker, and it started. I knew what it was. I went to the doctors, and it looks bleak. And so now I wonder if it was worth it. Everything. And I don't know. I'm glad that I had that one year, though. That one year when I liked myself, and when I was well again, and myself again. And I know that I'm going to go down fighting. Because I will definitely go down, but hopefully not for a while.