I got abused by my older brother

Most people don't know this about me, but I almost lost my virginity for real when I was eight years old. I wish that was the worst of it, but the truth is it was my older brother, that sick son of a bitch. He would come and hang out with me in my room at night, and kept getting closer and closer each time, and our games would get really sexual, and then one night when mom and dad were gone and he was babysitting me, he held me down on the ground and touched me. Everything changed for me that night. I wasn't the best kid to begin with, but I felt a darkness inside me that I've never been able to shake totally.