coming out

I'm gonna be 15 tomorrow, still too scared to tell my widow mum, that I'm gay. I just want to go and be all flamboyant sometimes. I know shes already knows but I don't feel comfortable not saying anything and I still want to go and tell her. I sometimes can't even accept myself, and I just try and convince myself 'Don't worry you're bisexual, you still like girls' I know it's bullshit though. I know I am gay. It just feels so weird saying it aloud. I go to a school where I'm used to being the cool kid, when I told my friend it all changed, he told everyone - I don't really care though I'm leaving soon and I don't let that affect me. I dont want it to all change between me and my mum. You only get one mum. But I just want to be happy. Everyone that I have told so far, I no longer comfortably talk to. I just want to be able to tell everyone and have the option to make the 'big fuss' go away. Act like it never happen. I wish that I could live my life and not tell anyone and everyone act like its normal. I swore to myself I'd tell her before I'm 15, but thats tomorrow.