I had applied for nine scholarships and sat anxiously between mom and dad hoping for the best. I shifted in my seat each time a recipient was named, mentally crossing that scholarship off the shrinking list of possibilities. Dad got pissed about halfway through, and went outside to smoke a cigarette. After the last one was announced, I waited in the dark for the auditorium to clear out before getting up to leave. I didn't want anyone I knew to see that I'd been crying.